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Eww, I'm All Sticky Now~

Gone insane, back whenever.
"Fuck you."

"Go away and I hope your car breaks down/gets stolen. =)"

" 'I don't have enough in the register to make change for your 20/50/100-dololar*-bill' does not mean 'buy something cheap so I can break the register drawer trying to make change for that and still wait on the people after you.' "
-.."And I want to slap whoever's mothers taught you to do that."
-..."WE ARE NOT A BANK!"

"Get your fucking beer BEFORE five minutes til 2 a.m. You've had 19 hours to get that shit in - I feel no pity for you because you missed/think you'll miss the deadline. :)"

"Specify which cigarettes you want - we aren't mind readers, so just saying 'A pack of lights' doesn't tell us anything."

"It's too early for this shit."

"Cops will not vouch for you - and even if they do, WE have the final say. BY LAW. Because it is OUR job on the line if Alcohol Law Enforcement sees it, not theirs. They have NO authority over that matter in our stores. This is called employee protection. If you kept your ID with you/current, then this argument wouldn't even need to take place. Don't blame us for your stupidity."

" 'No beer after 2' means 'No beer after 2.' NO EXCUSES."

"Read the signs. They tell you all you need to know. (...And read carefully. Fine print is important.)"

"Don't expect me to break a 100-dollar-bill for less than $30 after 2 a.m. It's dangerous to keep that much in the register anyway - especially after dark, and especially when you're the only one working."

"We have cameras. Smile - we saw you pocketing that. =D"

"No, if we turn you down, s/he CANNOT buy it for you. Again, it's OUR CALL. And by the way, purchasing for minors is ILLEGAL. You can go to JAIL for this. And if you're caught trying to buy it, minors? You can get into serious trouble, and we can get in trouble if we sell it to you. NONE OF YOU ASSHOLES ARE WORTH OUR JOB, WHETHER YOU THINK YOU'RE ENTITLED TO THE WORLD OR NOT. YOU ARE NOT. YOU NEVER WILL BE. YOU ARE NOT GOD, YOU ARE HUMAN, AND I -WILL- CALL THE POLICE ON YOUR SORRY PITIFUL ASSES. Same goes for using fake IDs. :)"

"If you're drunk, the answer's no. And yes, we are allowed to do that. In fact, we are allowed to decide not to sell to you IF WE DON'T LIKE THE COLOUR OF YOUR EYES. Another facet of the employee protection system granted to us when selling age-sensitive products. And yes, the lottery counts as that. We don't make the rules, we just follow them; if you don't want to get banned from the store or have the cops called on you, you should do the same."

"You may 'always be right,' but there's a line between 'right' and 'harassment.' And we CAN ban you from the store."

"If you're going to ask us for directions, don't tell us we're wrong or say that's not right when we tell you. That just makes us smile.....and give you the WRONG directions/much longer ones. You'll be lucky to get where you're going by 2014."

"Yes, we WILL press charges. And if you were stupid/rude enough, we will take very twisted, sadistic pleasure in doing so."

"If you don't get off your fucking cell phone while I wait on you, or at least acknowledge my words when I wait on you if you want to stay on it, I will go Godzilla on your phone. SMASHY, SMASHY! ...Failing the ability to do this, legal reasons pending, I'll just wait on the person behind you until you can give me the courtesy your parents should have taught you. And yeah, we can do that, too."

"Why, yes, the floor IS wet - it's raining. Rain is wet. It's fascinating!"

"We need to see ALL y'all's ID's if you're going to come in together and get age sensitive products - even if only one of you is buying it."

"Tantrums will only make us laugh. And then ban you/call the police."

"We're not bar tenders - we don't want to hear it."

"If you need EBT, you don't need those two beer suitcases."

"If you need gas, for fuck sake, don't get the cigarettes unless you CAN AFFORD BOTH WITHOUT SPLITTING HAIRS ON THE LEFTOVER CHANGE FOR GAS."
-.."Or the beer."
-..."JUST GET YOUR GAS AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Please stop telling me to 'pick you out a winner.' If I knew what would win, I wouldn't be here and I certainly wouldn't have left it in there to sell to you."

"There's probably a trash can, like, two feet from you. Don't throw your shit in the parking lot - take your lazy ass over and put it in one of the several trash cans we've provided for you."








*Dololar is the best typo ever. I'm keeping it there.

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Just Wondering...

Does anyone even read this thing, er...Am I wasting my breath in posting, if I do in the future?

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Writer's Block: Not again

Are there any movies that you watched over and over again as a child that you can't stand today?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The Wizard of Oz, and all of the Shirley Temple movies. *facedesks*

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Writer's Block: Circle the date

What's your favorite holiday, and why? Are there any holidays you dislike?

I love Halloween beyond all reason. It's just such a fun holiday, and people aren't as fake as they are with Christmas and most of the others. Valentine's Day is a choosy holiday because you need to have a partner to give something to since giving stuff just to your friends makes you look lonely and pathetic, and Christmas entices the need to be good to each other for fear of repercussions or being the next Scrooge. (And it's so commercial, considering it's meant to be a holiday to celebrate a religious icon. And heck, Christmas as we have it now isn't even really the day Jesus was supposedly born on to begin with, so what the hell...? Plus, Christmas starts before Halloween's even -ARRIVED- according to stores, and TV, and the radio, and even magazines. It's like, zombies in the manger, anyone? AIM FOR THE HEAD- omgdarn you shot Jesus. Nice job.) Easter's a rabbit's holiday, anymore, and most of the others are just excuses to drink yourself into oblivion if you're a college student (at least around where I live, thus I've grown to hate holidays as well as the majority of the people in the town in which I work. They need to burn. I'll mourn the loss of life, and praise God for the reduction of the number of idiots clogging up the school systems.) Same thing goes for Independence Day. Yay, free from the Britsh. That meant something years ago, but now it's "OMG FIREWORKS 'N BEER, HURHURHUR! LU'S GIT DRUNKZ 'N SET FAR' TO TH' HOUSE! YOUNG'UNS, GIT MY CIGS 'N C'MERE!" *facepalms*

I hate humanity. I really, really do. It saddens me to be counted amongst their number 99.99999998% of the time. -_-


...I totally lost my focus there. But the summary is: Halloween rocks, the rest of the year sucks more than my brand-new vacuum cleaner.

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"Everything will change someday."

















JuSt SHOOT mE aNd BuRy Me BeSiDe HER.

















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Writer's Block: Time after time

If you fall in love with a book or movie, do you tend to watch/read it again and again? If so, what's your upper limit on repeats?


Good Omens was like that for me. I'm still reading it over and over again, actually. I got it over a year and a half - two years ago. XD

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Writer's Block: Snack attack

What food would you never put in your mouth for any reason, and why?


Fetus. ...Of -any- species. Because babies are pure and innocent and clean and untainted, and I think animals are better than humanity as a whole any day of the year. So even if you fed me one of their unborn babies you'd never get it down my throat - I'd off myself with a straw first. Somehow. Or you. Whichever comes first, really.

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Writer's Block: Dynamite with a laserbeam

Is there a specific song or band that makes you yearn for the past?

Yes.

/nerd

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Writer's Block: Fly me to the moon

Do you think space exploration is important? Is it worth the billions our governments spend?

Sure, I guess it might be important. But worth billions of dollars? I doubt it highly. I'm content to be stuck on earth for the rest of my life and just trust the advances in science that the government has already come up with to fend off asteroids and whatnot. The extra billions of dollars they don't spend trying to answer every question that God probably didn't intend to -have- answers could be spent to pay off debts to other countries and help its people.

(Fffffffffft. I made a funny. The government? Help people? /wrists)

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Who would you appoint as Earth's ambassador to alien races, and why?

The roach I befriended in my answer for the question of November 13, 2010 (2/2). Because people suck, and politicians do a crappy job of making a good first impression.

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